Images in the Sky

Patience and Persistance

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 03:15:47 GMT

Costume Designer for Richard III in the Fall. Adjunct professor in the Fall. Now if I can just get my boss to take me from Customer Service and make me a designer then things will be all lined up nicely.

It's not my problem now

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 16:49:40 GMT

So the costume designer calls and says, "we've spoken to someone who has done Greater Tuna, so we are going to undertake the dressing track now. Just wanted to let you know before you put a lot of work into it."
First reaction--this is Bullshit. This theatre is BS, this company is BS. Reconsideration of contract.
Second reaction--This is going to make me look bad, like I can't handle the task or something.
Third reaction (about 2 hours later and talking with T and my sis)--fine, someone get's hurt its not my problem. I tried. I'm going to go, grit my teeth, bite my tounge and do just whatever they say (and try very hard not to roll my eyes or show true reaction on my face). And let them fix things to make them work. And if they don't like it, oh well. In the meantime, I'm keeping my eyes open for any design oportunities or any possible networking.

Conclusion: I'm going to do this for fun. If their attitude is hobby not job, then I'm not going to worry about anything and just have fun.

A change of a designer's heart

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 06:45:23 GMT

My best friend started working at my company this week. I could tell she was nervous, but once she got through day one found that it was stuff she had done before at her family's factory. It's great having her work there, much better than her being at essense-sucking Stein Mart. She has a tendency of mothering me however, especially when it comes to lunch. It's just something naturally inate in mothers I suppose, I wouldn't know. It was difficult for me to talk my boss into hiring her. She was concerned that customers would not be able to understand her on the phones because of her accent, she is Turkish. I said it was just her bluetooth---I can't understand or really be able to hear her much since she started using it. My boss is now extremely impressed with how hard my friend works. All I can say is "See, I told you so." Now that I've got her in the door, I'm trying to nudge her in the right direction and the right people. There's a great position that opened up last year after the person who held it moved out of the state. And it's perfect for her.
Seems to be a theme with this company--perfect opportunities (opportunities-def. chances).

I've given up on the idea of starting my own dancewear company. There's too much liability to get into...to much instability with fabric coming from another country. I'd rather just design for one already established. So I've began sharing thoughts with other designers. This is what we need, customers are asking for this, we would sell more if we did this... forget this whole bs of being stingy with designs. The only thing that will get me is a cubicle wall full of drawings. I have to show them that I really have something to offer aside from drawings. Substance that will show that hiring me as a designer can be very profitable for them.

I don't think this is what is meant by turning the other cheek..I'm running out of cheeks

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 02:52:50 GMT

It's starting to become routine. Got called up for Adjunct position at a Community College to teach Costume and Makeup (3 credit course; 2 1/2 hr class, 1 hr lab) about 3 days before class started---they called me; I never sent application or anything just met one day at a meeting last year. Originally told 1 hr class; Made up a syllabus in one day for semester including assignments. Found out later it was 2 1/2 hr; revised syllabus to include makeup instruction during second hr. New assisgnments and readings recorded. Went to adjunct meeting, filled out paperwork. Next day told that due to roster numbers class was cancelled (community college does not regard ARTS as high). Knew it was possiblity, but thought would be given one class to get WOM spread. Not a chance. Poor publicity done to promote it from department area (wish I knew that...would have put up better flyers). So, once again having nothing to do with something I DID, another dream job is flaunted in my face. I even wrote up an appeal putting theatre into corporate speak (relating it to business terminology and skills acquired thereof). I was ready to teach damn it! I put it together in 2 days but I was ready...I think I knew all along what I would teach given the chance. I was doing lesson plans in my sleep, literally.

My work was even to willing to work with me (allowing me to come in at 2-5 on Fridays instead of 8:30-5pm) because they can't afford to lose me. I'm glad I didn't quit my job, but I would have given this opportunity. Felt it was a gift--The catch 22 I lack from teaching at Universities. Now I'm not sure what it was. I'm getting sick of these slaps in the faces. We'll just try it again in the Fall to see if we can get the class to stay.

For the record:
Design Department with company: wait and see one more season (Design dept wants me--Customer Service won't let me go--for some reason they have the say)
Adjunct professor: Wait and see one more semester

I'm getting tired of waiting!

Cam

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 02:43:01 GMT

By the way, T and I rejoined the cam :)

Le Sigh

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 02:32:40 GMT

The spectacle, the drama, the tension in the air. The abnormity that is called Theatre with it's gusto and glam. But in the far corner stands a little wided-eyed girl staring at the dancing illlusions through the security of the glass barrier. Close enough to hear, to see, but not to touch...a limited experience. To stare fixedly as the figures move gracefully across the stage. Not even aware that the little girl is awed by them, wishing that she lived in their world. If only someone handed her a hammer and told her break the glass, then she would be a part of it too. Then again what would the repercusions be?
* * *
She counted the last ring, knowing who was on the other line. A dear friend. So then why let the answering machine get it instead?
The lady stared down at the floor in guilt. "It's for her own good," she reminded herself for the fifth time. She still felt like dirt. "To have a friend, one must be a friend." Where had she heard that? Perhaps she didn't have many friends because she didn't know how to be one. 'Afterall,' she thought, 'look how I'm treating my so-called best friend.'
But a friend doesn't pacify another and that's what she felt like the relationship was becoming. If she visited she had to plan to arrange at least a five hour visit. And even then bear with the look of, "Why are you leaving?" She understood the problems and she wanted to be there, but she feared that her friend was becoming her mother. She took a deep breath and laid on her bed, suddenly exhausted. The noise pierced her ear as she threw her arm over her eyes and counted the rings again.

IPODs Rule!

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 04:12:52 GMT

So Trevor got me a new IPOD for my Birthday and I am having a blast finding new songs to download. $.99 a pop is a bargain but boy, that can add up fast! Now that I can access songs with a touch of the button I am now paying more attention to the Radio for specific names of artists and songs that I like. And low and behold I have found that I love the album, "Korn, MTV Unplugged." Who would have thought. I have discovered a new group tonight called "The Used" and their song "The Bird and the Word" is so cool in it's strange eclectic-ness. . . Definitely a must hear if never heard.

At work we have begun hell season, which was not scheduled to start until at least May. Surprise! I absolutely love my job, but it's that feeling of helplessness that I hate. Being Customer service I can only do so much..once that order leaves my hands and heads from Department to Department I am at the mercy of others that it gets done. And unfortunately, that is not always the case and alas the result is pissed off people...pissed off people that I now have to deal with and who have held me in complete accountability ARGH! They say not to take it personally, but having once been in the showbiz environment myself I know exactly where these people are coming from. And it does make me sick and sad when we miss a deadline. But the saying "you draw more flies with honey" holds true, I will take that extra two steps for someone who is nice and reasonable than someone who just refuses to listen and only demands impossible things. There are some customers who have hounded me so much that their very names send chills through me. But I love my job. And as a costume designer I am able to help scores of studio owners and teachers create a beautiful show. And that makes the sneers and jeers well worth it. It's a place that I never thought to be in. Now that I'm there I feel it's the place that I was intended for. Life is a journey with a designated itinerary.

GEN-W

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 23:01:45 GMT

I am of the generation of Women.
I live my life vicariously through the lives of others.
Fictional characters that are no more real then the pen that write these words.
Yet their words,their very laughter, cuts me to the core.
And my lips are seasoned by the salt of my own tears.

I am of the Generation of W.
The measure of beauty translated through the silent pane of reflection.
Not as a standard of worth and acceptance,
But as a re-emergence of who I am after giving it up for all the wrong reasons,
Or all the right ones.

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 01:52:17 GMT

The phone rings...I do not answer
I know what is on the other line.
Whys, hows, seemingly genuine concern.
I miss yous, Where are yous...
I just stare at the line.
Counting the rings, ticking them off in my head
One by one..until dead.

Silence, I hate silence.
In silence I can hear myself speak.
In silence my eyes have nothing to watch
No digitized image for my one hour amusement.
No laugh track to drown out the proverbial
questions...why, when

Like the ticks of a clock.
I'm am the comatose patient
Staring at a blank ceiling.
It is my Judgment Day says
A screen that plays hows and why nots
over and over. . .again

The images are blurred.
"Why are the images blurred?!"
Of course, now I remember,
I am crying,always crying,
And Growing angrier with each tear.
Big girls don't cry
They just...don't.

So where do the tears go?

"Who will help me eat the bread" says the little red hen

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 02:46:55 GMT

Lately I've been thinking alot about little red hen. You know the story:
"Let's make bread!" (That's a great idea...okay)
"Who will help me pick the wheat?" (crickets)
"Who will help me crack the eggs" (crickets--although I don't think their was eggs in the children's story..being chickens and all I think that would be considered cannibalism...umm, I think there's eggs in bread..anyway)
"Who will help me get the water?" (crickets)
"Who will help me knead the dough?" (crickets)
"Who will help me put the bread in the oven?" (Crickets)
(Timer dings--bread is ready)
"Who will help me eat the bread?" (I will! ME! I WILL!)
Planning a reunion is a lot like this. I hear you little red hen!

A quick update before bedtime

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 04:10:37 GMT

A lot has happened since I last saw some of you. Here's the run down
1. I have a new job! I'm a customer service rep for a costume/dancewear distributor! It's a step in the right direction. I'm talking about things I have knowledge about and the exposure has made more confident to attempt dancewear for my neice. The first leotard althouth did fit, was just that it fit without any room for growth even 1/32 inch. Have scrapped the pattern and am trying a new company kwik...never heard of them but at least they have elastic in places that there should be elastic so that is a good sign.
2. I am officially free from the hell that is called steinmart! The shakles have been removed and I couldn't be happier!
3. I've joined the church choir. Feels nice to feel like I'm doing something right for a change.
4. I cleaned the house and decorated for christmas without poking or prodding from others.
5. For once I feel at peace about the future and the present. I don't know where the one will lead the other but I am confident that it will be where I will be needed most.

As it's 11pm and past my bed time I will end this. T won't be home for another hour...we usually don't see each other much with our schedule, (one or the other is usually asleep when the other leaves/ arrive) but that gives us more reason to actually schedule real dates :o)

Lots of love to two dear friends and their newest addition!

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 03:44:02 GMT

(If I got on-line more often I would have heard this sooner.) Congratulations Drew and Iffer on your sweet baby boy. I can't wait to see pictures of this beautiful baby! Lots of love your way!

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 03:30:48 GMT

table cellpadding=5><tr><td>

The Maid of Honor
Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLMf)

Appreciated for your kindness and envied for all your experience, you are The Maid of Honor.

Charismatic, affectionate, and terrific in relationships, you are what many guys would call a "perfect catch"--and you probably have many admirers, each wishing to capture your long-term love. You're careful, extra careful, because the last thing you want is to hurt anyone. Especially some poor boy whose only crime was liking you.

Your exact opposite:
Half-cocked

Random Brutal Sex Dreamer

We've deduced you're fully capable of a dirty fling, but you do feel that post-coital attachment after hooking up. So, conscientious person that you are, you do your best to reserve physical affection for those you respect...so you can respect yourself.

Your biggest negative is the byproduct of your careful nature: indecision. You're just as slow rejecting someone as you are accepting them.

ALWAYS AVOID: The False Messiah, The 5-Night Stand, The Vapor Trail, The Bachelor

CONSIDER: The Gentleman, someone just like you.

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.</td></tr></table>

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 05:15:09 GMT

For once something I planned actually worked!
For Trevor's Birthday this year I planned out a whole day to surprise him with. I was surprised that I didn't spill the beans before hand (I get this from my Dad's mother who could never keep a secret when it came to gifts she got people). We started out the day at the Berry Farm Pumpkin Festival. I teased him the whole time that it was a doctor's appointment I scheduled for him and he grew concern when we started heading out to the boonies. My heart almost sank when he said "Where not going to the Berry farm are we?" in a less than enthused way, he didn't know about the festival. Well we arrive, or I think we arrive and it's just a market place. And it looks like it could be it, but really lame. He's being all sweet, "ah honey this is so nice"..."I really like this place" while I'm thinking this can't be it. SO I go to the clerk and ask and she says it's at their farm. Elated I yell out, "Honey, this isn't the place," not even realizing how much of a redneck I sounded. We hop in the car and find the farm which is a good distance back. It was so much fun, we picked pumpkins (something he had done every year as a kid with his class and I had never done), and we drank pumpkin milkshakes, and even did what appeared to be wine tasting but more along the Boones Farm calibar out of plastic medicine cup things...and for those of you all who know what snobs Trevor and I am about wine containers..yeah. We ended up returning to the market, who remembered me clearly and asked if I found the place, and purchased Pumpkin Butter (awesome!), Bread-n-butter pickles, Peacan toasted syrup, and new kind of hot sauce.
Next we rented horror movies (T's choice since it was his day..not my cup of tea really). At nine I had made reservations at Carabbas Itallian Grill. The outside was adorable, very authentic Itallian cafe ambiance complete with trees on the roofs. And the inside was very quaint and wonderful. Our food was fantastic. It was like homemade it was sooooo good. Great service and fabulous wine (especially after the boon's farm stuff). Stuffed and happy we went to Friday's to meet up with his old work buddies. And we heard stories from a guy who worked with Stevestor Stallone on movies (very interesting and cool). It was a very fun day. And the best part was Trevor's anticipation..like a little boy "Where are we going" and making guesses trying to break me, "ahhh that's it isn't it, we're going to the Bonefish grill, ha."

It makes me so happy when he is happy. He's so adorable and sexy. I know I'm hopeless.
Married for almost a year (this weekend) and I still feel like the blushing bride. But I am starting to realize what being married really means when it comes to decision making. . .

Monday: I quit my job. Well, "I gave my two week notice today," is what I casually told him not really sure how he would react but pretty sure he would be with me on it. I was wrong. At first I saw him as being unreasonable, I mean I had it all planned out...I would substitute teach, and do odd jobs on the side, maybe even something part-time, and volunteer for the theatre unless they would pay me as overhire stitcher. What I failed to consider was a. his raise was not as big as I had thought with his promotion, and b. I couldn't be added on his health insurance because BnN doesn't consider change of status just change of family for healthcare changers. (Damn!) Slowly, dawning began to make it's way into my stubbornness (afterall I had a plan, a good plan I thought) as reality became more apparent... I ruined his birthday, and our anniversary because we would now be so restricted that we couldn't do anything but live. Reality sucks! He was understanding and said he would live with me in cars, but would I please try to get part-time with them or something. So I prayed. .
Tuesday: I swallowed my pride and asked for my resignation letter back. They were more than happy to do so because they were not in a good position to lose me. What can I say, I am a hard person to replace. I don't regret it, turning in my notice, because now they are playing ball with me. They are taking me serious and are treating me better. I didn't say anything to hurt myself with them, just spoke to the openly and honestly. I am upfront with my store manager now, who encourages me to come to office and talk if something is bothering me with the assitants (who can come off as obtrusive and insensitive) and has assured me that if I find what I am looking for not to worry about the store, they would be okay and eventually find someone, and that I could always work part-time if I needed it. And not to let my loyalty ruin my chance at getting my dream. Damn my loyalty and concern for a place that I hate. It's the people I care about. Life would be much easier if I was a cold hearted bitch, but I couldn't live with myself and I don't think anyone else would want to either.
Wednesday: Opportunities are coming but there not ones I can afford right now (part time without guarantee of 10 hours a week and no set schedule just be ready when called...wonderful job teaching art to kids but can't hack that work arrangement right now).
Well that's the update for now. These past few days have been something else, and I sense change is in the air. Good things will happen for me, I just know it.

Parrrrr---tey!

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 04:51:45 GMT

Here's the deal: 7pm Tuesday Macados in Blacksburg to celebrate Trevor's birthday! All are welcome to attend! Pass it on to anyone else not on my list. See you then if not before! Not much luck of keeping this a surprise unless he doesn't check this place for some reason. If your reading this sweetie, surprise!! And if he doesn't see this and calls y'all and wants to know when is good time to get together tell him "Macados 7pm Tuesday a bunch of us are getting together if you want to join" yea!!

a few more days until vacation!!

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 02:50:18 GMT

We plan to be in the NRV on Sun. or Mon. until Wed. and then in Cinci from Wed until Sat or Sun. T's B-day is this month and I would like for him to be able to celebrate with friends from both areas. You all name the restauraunt and we'll be there (I know he loves Cladaugh's up in Cinci). Heh heh it's his last year as a twenty-something. We can't wait to see everyone...it has been a long time for some, longer for others. And we can't wait to feel that baby kick and see the proud look on papa's face :) And see the new baby! I hope the weather will be nice and sunny. It would also be nice to arrange some get togethers so everyone can make plans rather than do spur of the moment things. In the NRV we'll be staying at my 'rents house and my sister lives near by so will spend sometime with her and the neices. Otherwise that we'll be free. In cinci we need to visit with Amy and Mike (they were in our wedding) and see their new baby. Also we'll be running up to Columbus so T can see his new nephew...and I want to get another chance to hold the darling. Oh, and then we're going to Octoberfest (any and all are welcome to join us).
Our plans were almost thwarted on going to Cinci (once again) but T got a promotion (yea!!!) and so we are on our way :) Can't wait to see everyone! Love and miss.

It's a freakin' Miracle!

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 06:22:38 GMT

Just when I had given up all hope of ever having anything even semi-professional looking for my portfolio...a miracle occurs! I found a hidden file on one of my CD's from a dear friend that has beautiful up-close costume shots of my clown opera "the Good Soldier Schweik." Just when I had accepted the blurred, stupid people's heads in the shots, photos...and the very tiny shots of the actors from the Lighting designer's CD (this same one that had the hiden file I never saw until now)...this beautiful gift is given to me. And I am soooo happy!!! Could it be a reward for finally cleaning out the closet in the office? Or perhaps someone is trying to tell me I'm ready to "Do this thang." I should be in bed right now, it is 2am and I have work early tomorrow. Am I eager about going to work knowing the job that awaits me the frustrations ahead. It doesn't matter. I don't see myself there in the future. I see big plans in the horizon. HUGE!!! It's so nice to be happy again about my costuming/ theatrical work.

this was just too funny not to post

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 06:15:03 GMT

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Just me in the NRV

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 18:18:44 GMT

I'll be at the NRV tomorrow for a week if anyone wants to do anything let me know. Miss you all.

for teachers or wanna-be teachers like me

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 04:09:03 GMT

I took the first small steps to becoming a teacher...I uploaded my info on the job-site for teachers. For those interested in finding teaching positions it's at: www.teachers-teachers.com. And it's free. At this point I wouldn't even mind being a Drama teacher. Anything but the job I'm at now. My manager is soooo stupid, the job is stupid and I get paid squat! Although I now qualify for stock options..oooo. But I have gained a very good friend from it, so good things do come from bad situations. It helps having a girl to chat with, vent with, and hang out with.

Consumerism Vampire

Sun, 28 May 2006 19:24:05 GMT

I watched him closely as he came in
Eyeing the weakness displayed on his chin.
He told me sob stories, I did not flinch
My fake smile of understanding, the aire of the Grinch.

"Here's something you'd like" I said with a grin
Displaying cool colors and an embroidered hem.
"But it's not on sale," I heard him cry.
"Why settle for less when you want to buy?
Sure you could get three shirts on sale,
But how would they really make you feel?"

I could tell he was considering,
His blood began a-tittering
My mouth it was a-watering
Almost time for the slaughtering.

The bulge from his wallet made things better
For my mouth was growing wetter.
"I'll take it," he cried. Could I get any moist?
"Fine," I agreed, "an excellent choice."
He reached in his pants, but how great my chagrin.
When what he produced was quite paper thin.

"A Gift Card!" I gasped appalled by luck.
And sending him off I wondered who I'd have to fuck
For that succulent feast of cold hard cash.
This world of fake plastic just gives me a rash.

10- year reunion help is coming out of woodworks

Mon, 15 May 2006 07:12:13 GMT

I have been able to find an old friend to help me get 10-year reunion underway and he has found more help for the committee. I couldn't do this on my own. I'm considering doing a 2nd prom at hotel in Blacksburg. I think it would be great fun--I love dressing up. And suggestions on what the best hotel would be to host such an occassion. That doesn't get worked up about noise level for the after prom parties in seperate rooms, and that would have best atmosphere. There was about 104 people in my graduating class which I know not everyone will show, but with spouse/ sig other who knows. Just getting ideas right now. I'm actually starting to get excited about this now that I'm not going at it alone. And I already have the best photographer for it, my dad. So it could definately be cool and not lame.
Okay, I'm starting to get tired finally. Probably should not have had that 3 hour nap after getting home and sleeping most of the trip back.

Labeling..restrictive, yes but necessary?

Mon, 15 May 2006 06:50:34 GMT

I thought everyone thought like me
I can't sleep because my brain won't turn off until I get this down. So here it is because I love to share.

I am a very disorganized person on the outside, but inside I run like a library card catalog (yes, the archaic form). And whether I have realized it I have created labels for everything in my life. But not the negative reputation that labels have gotten today with everyone concerned about the welfare of the Children and harming their psyche by the way education is taught but the idea of putting things in a "proper place in the mind". I don't know if this is the proper visual descriptive example for how my mind works is the right one or not. But I think in examples and pictures. I can truly say I am a visual person but my visual objects are intangible ideas...much like an author personifying a tree or a box or a doll..or in my case a treeboxdoll because I can't be specific about anything. I have a hard time pointing out the needle in haystack because I am consumed by the hay.

I've always said I was terrible with dialogue, but I'm constantly writing out whole scenarios in my head, especially if I needed to confront something. But no one ever says or does what I plot out for them to do, it's like I'm a psychic who really sucks at her job. OR maybe I'm really good if my job was to predict oxymoron predictions. I don't know if that's the right word for what I mean, but I really like that word...it's fun to say it's makes your mouth move differently from the common words we use today. Like a song for the lips.

So what's the point of this, why the tangent? I'm starting to understand not so much my purpose, but my place in this world. I'm starting realize that I'm not common, that I don't think like everyone else, that there's not too many out there who are able to think like me. And before I felt like this was a cocky assumption, like I was becoming those arrogant assholes I can't stand on reality shows and I've worked with in the theatre. I'm constantly bombarded by realizations, where for a brief moment, everything is clear and simple--like it all makes sense. And I just thought that I was slow, like everyone knew this and I was just begining to get what everyone else already had. But that's not the case. Example I: my husband can actually think about nothing at all--I have know idea in the world how he is able to do this. I can't turn my brain off, and it takes smallest thing to get me going off on a tangent. That's why I have a hard time with intellectual books (ie text books) because they always trigger something that makes me think about something else and then being me, I have to pursue that thought and never get back to the original text. Example II: When I am doing or saying something against my normal routine or normal way of functioning, ie confrontation, suddenly the situation becomes surreal to me. My words from my mouth feel like they are not coming from me, even though they are my feelings and what I believe, but as though it was scripted. And I question the reality of the moment. It is not hard for me to suddenly look at life so objectively that it suddenly does not feel like it's my own. And then, I come off as sounding preachy--like right now. My husband does not understand this. I assumed everyone felt this disconnect with reality.

I know..it sounds crazy..and in my dialoguing of people I would have them say I was crazy. But I'm not, I just have a different way of seeing things. And trying to fight against this, trying to be "normal" by working a "normal" retail job is killing me--not litterally but it's making me irritable, angry, emotional, crying at radom times, moody because I'm not being true to who I am. I'm not common and I'm not made to work a common job. God, that sounds terrible, and I don't mean it to be but societies implications that have worked it's way into our system turns this statement into arrogance. But in history where society was dependent upon the job of others in order to work, ie ferriers relyed on blacksmiths for horse shoes who relied on iron workers or relied on founderies who relied on transporters who relied on carpenters to create the carts for transport who relied on forresters for the woood, who relied on farmers for the plants...everyone was important. There was no, one job is better than the other and a person's wort was not based off of how much they made. I hate that, I hate how we are today. As a caterer I gained such a respect for the labeled "lower-form jobs" of custodians, cooks, housekeepers--the jobs no one wants to do. And even as a retailer I see the snobery behind people's eyes when they look me and their actions when they can't even hang up the clothes they try on in the dressing room. My God, it takes two seconds to hang up a shirt or a pair of pants. But it's this idea that you work this job therefore you are on this level and I'm better than you. Sometimes I just want to say, I have a fucking Masters, what do you have? And when I do say that I have Masters I get the same response..and you're working here??? Yeah, I am. I needed to be here to learn what it takes to be a leader. And you can't get it from school or some book. You get by getting your hands dirty, listening to your co-workers, connecting with others, in order to be a leader you have humble yourself. And the only way to humble yourself is by working hard at something that doesn't offer immediate tangible awards. That's why I get so angry at reality shows. Those people have not earned it, they haven't sweated for it. If you hand someone something without teaching how to be responsible for it how can we be surprised that they are not stewardships over that thing. How can we shocked at the irresponsibleness or expect them to be grateful. And why are surprised when the next generation demands rather than asks for the things they want, expect rather than work for where they want to go in life. How can we shocked at how things are turning out.

I'm tired of being selfish with this gift I was given for thinking by trying to be common. I'm not. I don't think anyone is, really. I think it's just a dumb old lable that we've been programmed to assign. I hate lables yet I can't do without them. But I refuse to be slave to them anymore. And I know I will be a lot happier if I start being true to myself rather than trying to live under what is expected of me. Afterall, who gets remembered in life, the one who did as they were told and caused no stir, or the one who went against the flow of everyone else and was true to who they were? I'm not powerful, I'm not trying to change the world, I just want to make people's lives easier for them by telling them what I know so that are not hung on that part and can start finding out who they really are. I doubt people really look that much anymore. That's why there's so much mediocrity out there--poor quality fabrics, craftmanship, cheap ass furniture that snaps together in 10 seconds and breaks in less time. And we call it "fashion" or "the Trend" or "In-Style", but really it's laziness. How can hide behind cost when even in the depression era of the 1940s people were still creating great things. Or Native Americans crafted beautiful fuctional items with what little they had. We have forgotten what we are capable of, and believe everything must be bought. We sacrifice quality for immediatecy. And we're okay with it. Because good work takes too long and we are far to busy doing whatever to create it. I'm tired of lamenting it. And it's not until you grow tired and sick of something that you are able to change it.

1997 Senior Class Secretary Forever and ever and ever

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 07:46:17 GMT

In these wee hours of the night I find myself the contact point for my upcoming class reunion. Why? Because I was soooo excited I was finally nominated for something in high school. Little did I know. Only now, I am the one, and looks to be the only officer still able to be reached. Why? Because I posted the cancellation of the 5 year reunion 4 years ago and they have tracked me down. And the update so far, I only have 2 other people on the "reunion committee." You know those movies that have the perky, overwhelming lady handing out name tags to the thrilled to be there classmates--usually right before something scary happens...well that's going to be sun shiney me :) Yea! Okay, I'm going to bed.

I'm turning to you all for help

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 06:27:24 GMT

Okay, so I have this friend who is endanger of not getting her Master's degree because her thesis advisor has already said he would not pass her thesis which he hasn't seen yet. Here's the situation:
She had a heartattack a year ago which caused her to recieve an incomplete in her class. The professor told her if she did the work and sent it to him he would change her grade. She went out of state on a job assignment for the summer and snail mailed the assignments to him. The professor, having recieved the assignments, failed to enter a grade for her. Fast forward to the present. Under University policy, any Incomplete that is not complete in a year is immediately recorded as an "F". Because of this F she has lost her scholarship. She has gone to the Dean of the College and they informed her if the teacher recorded a grade it would replace the F. The professor demanded to see the assignment again so that he could record a grade. Unfortunately, she threw half of it away. Accepting responsibility she redid the assignment and turned it in. He sat on it for 2 weeks and did not do anything, did not record a grade, nothing. She went back to him and inquired about his delay and he said, "It's not going to work anyway, they can't change it once it's an F." Which is what is listed in the handbook. She told him that she had gone to the Dean of the College and they gave her permission to have the grade changed if the professor submitted it. Upon hearing this he says, "It's not going to work" and did nothing. That was yesterday. Today she has spoken to him again and he has agreed to turn in a grade.

He also informed her that he would not pass her thesis because he felt she was on the same level as when she came in and that she had poor communication skills, both written and verbally, and that she had poor imagination. If this is the case, why does she have a 4.0 grade point adverage (with exception of F from incomplete)? Her thesis was a Technical Costume thesis which was based on construction (patterning, draping, building of costumes) for specific characters on all Mainstage shows. She did this well. She completed this assignement. She did not leave any work unfinished pertaining to the shows. She documented her work, kept records, did everything she was supposed to do. Now she just has to write it up in a presentable format and defend it at her defense. But he has already graded her as not passing. Now, this is not a formal thesis like most schools, and in fact the university doesn't even recognize it as a thesis degree calling it "non-thesis". But this scenario still seems the same as a teacher assigning a 20 page paper and immediately turning to a student and saying, "you've failed it." Or a teacher failing a student for an assignment for the rough draft they turned in for suggestions on improvement.
This professor is her thesis advisor and is the head of the program. Does this sound like conflict of interest to you? Can she appeal the university to request a new advisor? The university allows greivances but does not support anything concerning quality of evalution which is what this sounds like.

Help me out, is there anything she do to just get her degree and get the **** out of there? This is the worst Master's Program in the world!! Oh if that wasn't bad enough, this final semester he assigns her a project that is essentially another thesis only unrealized, meaning it would require her to do as much research, design, rendering, calculating, etc as a thesis would only it's all on paper (2-D) and not to be created (3-D) for stage. When she inquired him about it he said all the other Grad students had to do it...THAT'S A LIE!! It sounds to me he is making it so she will fail!